Release Date: May 6, 2012
Label: Broadway Records
Time: 66:12
Music and Lyrics: Lewis Flinn
Main Singers: Patti Murin, Josh Segarra, Liz Mikel
1. Right Now: Opening - 2/5 - A very (sadly) deceptive opening. The first minute sounds like this musical will be intense and awesome. But apparently, that was just the exposition. It was saying that this was musical based off a Greek play. This reminds me of another track I've heard before. Then it turns into a cheerleading cheer. Apparently we are at Athens University where the basketball team is the Spartans. Get it?! Har har har har!!!! Well, anyway. The song wasn't much of a song, mainly a bunch of cheap jokes about dumb blonde cheerleaders. Also, if I heard "Right now, right now! Go, Athens, go!" one more time, I was going to throw my laptop across the room.
2. Right Now: Party Time - 1/5 - You mean there's a second part to this song? Well, the term "song" isn't really a way to describe this. They're still chanting "right now" over and over again, but now it has a weird Black-Eyed Peas feel to it. Apparently the song is about the Spartans not winning against the other team, but partying anyway. Why? I don't know. Hopefully it gets better.
3. Just Once - 3/5 - Okay, good. Here we have a nice slow song about Lysistrata wondering what it feels like to win. Sadly, all subtlety is thrown out the window when one girl goes, "Hey, Lysistrata. You should join our book club and read the play 'Lysistrata'!" Lysistrata then proceeds to look up the SparkNotes version (because she's a dumb blonde) and proceeds to show us how blatantly they are going to rip-off the play "Lysistrata."
4. Change the World - 3/5 - So this song is a tad strange. The bass line is doing that typical funk bass thing. Patti Murin (Lysistrata) sounds she's trying (and sometimes failing) at doing that growling female voice thing. The song is a bit too big for Patti. I feel like it should be sung by a black woman. It just has that gospel/soul feel to it.
5. No More Giving It Up - 1/5 - My first reaction to this song. So this song starts out as hip-hop. Okay, you see that in musicals nowadays. Nothing too bad. Then, they start singing. I could have sworn that I've heard this song before. I don't know where, but I know I have. And it was not in this musical. Then, they start speaking Spanish. This song is so convoluted and strange that I almost stopped listening halfway through. The main lyrics of this song "No, no more giving it up/'Til you give up giving it up." I assume they mean that none of the basketball team is getting any sex until they stop giving up playing basketball when they are losing. But the lyrics are confusing. It sounds like "no more sex until you stop having sex." Welp, on with the album.
6. Lay Low - 4/5 - Finally. A good song. Sure the lyrics are wonky (They rhyme "patiently" with "philosophy"), but the Latin rhythm is really nice and the harmonies are solid. So far, the best in this album (though that's not saying much).
7. I Don't Think So - 1/5 - This what I'd like to call musical porn. This is a song about having sex. And it's not clever or subtle either. One of the lyrics is "Baby, baby, you're so fine/How about we intertwine?" That is dumb. Lyrics in musicals are supposed to be clever. That is not clever.
8. You Go Your Way - 4/5 - An interesting song. It's the boys versus the girls in this ensemble number. The lyrics are actually clever and witty. At first, it sounds like a pop song. But then when the girls join in, it sounds like a Broadway musical again. Very nice.
9. Where Am I Now? - 3/5 - A little boring. Slow, but nice lyrics. Not much to say about it.
10. Writing on the Wall - 2/5 - You know a song is going to be bad when a white guy imitates a black lady. It's an awfully strange sound. Sure, he's actually pretty convincing. If his voice were higher, he would probably be able to pull off a pretty good Aretha Franklin. Sadly, this song is just boring. There's nothing interesting about it.
11. Hold On - 3/5 - Really not sure about this song. On the one hand, it has a nice beat and tune. The lyrics are okay. The problem is that Jason Tam has a weird nasally voice and a very subtle, but noticeable, New York accent. If it were sung by someone else, it would a perfectly good song.
12. Don't Judge A Book - 1/5 - This song is awful. It's kind of reggae, but kind of not at the same time. The song is sung mainly by a girl named, and I am not making this up, La Quet Sharnell. This song also contains the single stupidest line in all Broadway history: "Once you go Jewish, you don't go back." I actually face-palmed when I heard that line. Why did they have to put that in? Why?
13. Right Now: Operetta - 4/5 - Surprisingly, a very nice rendition of this song. All the different characters sing something different, and then they all come together at the end. Reminds me of something. Full of fervor and passion, this song is one of the best on the album.
14. When She Smiles - 3/5 - Doesn't sound like a musical number at all. It sounds like something a modern soft rock singer would sing. Josh Segarra sounds pretty nice and doesn't push too much with his voice. A "safe" song.
15. Hold On (Reprise) - 3/5 - Oh look, children! It's the fake black lady again! Let's poke him with a stick! But in all seriousness, this song is basically the same as its original, except slower.
16. The Final Game - 3/5 - A musical rendition of the final game (obviously.) It's interesting that they use the squeaks of the shoes on the court in the song. It think it's a nice touch. All in all, an okay song.
17. Give It Up! - 4/5 - The magnum opus of the musical. It's featured in all the commercials and ad banners for this musical. It's actually not that bad. The Spartans have apparently won their game and can now have all the crazy, wacky sex they want. Yay. About halfway through the piece, there is less singing and more chanting, then it changes styles to a strange gospel sound, then back to normal for the rest of the piece. Not that bad.
18. Never Say Never (Curtain Call) - 3/5 - It's really too short to form an opinion. It's not that bad, but it's not that good either. Just average.
19. Hold On (feat. Jennifer Holliday) - N/A - The song "Hold On" sung by Jennifer Holliday.
Conclusion: When I first saw the ads for this musical, I was really looking forward to it. Sadly, it did not live up to my expectations at all. For some reason, it reminded me of "Legally Blonde - The Musical," which is a far superior musical.
2.4/5
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